Become a Hero (For a Moment)

I recently attended a panel hosted by Dr. Sara Cleto and Dr. Brittany Warman of Carterhaugh School of Folklore and the Fantastic. The topic was “Folklore and Resistance,” and the last speaker to read their paper was Terri Windling. Terri ended her wonderful speech (you really must listen to it) with a call to action. She explained that this fairy tale we are living in, the journey into the darkened woods, has characters who are the heroes, who are “quick to act, quick to speak, quick to determine right from wrong.” And then there are those “at the edges of the story,” who are the helpers, or “those in the shadows of the woods who remain unseen as the hero passes by.” Terri requested that we all consider what role we naturally tend to play, “by inclination or personality.” And then, at some point in the next few days or weeks, we should make a conscious effort to be the opposite character, if only for a little while.

“If you are the hero striding forward, stop. Be quiet, still. Think about the ways you can help another and not be the center of the story. If you’re used to being a helper or some other secondary role, or at the margins or invisible, I ask you to find a moment in the days or weeks ahead when you take center place, speak boldly and loudly, and accept all the magical gifts that are given as your due.”

This exercise, Terri explains, can help us to understand each other, have compassion, and help each other. To let the heroes rest, and show that there’s room for the stories of everyone, even the quiet and the small. Her words moved me, as her work so often does. And I started thinking about a recent experience I had where my natural inclination when it comes to political action and confrontation (or rather lack of action and confrontation) was upturned. It was Tuesday, March 8th: International Women’s Day.

Although I am an avid and fervent LGBTQIA+ individual and activist, I don’t often take the time to post anything political on my social media. I am a rabbit-hearted girl, who may be willing to share details of her inner thoughts about magic and wonder in my blog posts and social media, but at the first sign of confrontation, will often scurry away or freeze in the headlights. Sometimes I am able to be courageous, but it is completely draining to me and leaves me trembling inwardly and outwardly for days afterward.

So although it may have seemed like a small thing (and it really was), it was a rare sign of my personal politics on social media that day when I added one more story to Instagram, simply stating that transgender women are women, and gender is not a binary. If anyone unfollowed me or took offense at the statement, they did so quietly and I was oblivious to the fact.

But here’s where the dark woods of the fairy tale turned into a happily ever after; where one small moment of courage resulted in a reward beyond measure. Unbeknownst to me, a lovely and kind-hearted acquaintance who followed my writings and creative endeavors for years and supported me on Patreon saw my post. And it gave her the courage to show her own bravery right back to me. She contacted me to tell me how much that simple post mean to her, and I am so incredibly, inexpressibly lucky to now be the second person to whom she has come out as transgender. That one gesture from me wrapped her up in a blanket of enough safety to share her true self. I felt honored beyond words.

And oh, what a gift this small act of courage has become! Since March, Heather and I have grown closer and closer. She video-called me on Midsummer and we walked through the British woods together. Each night she reassures me that if I sleep poorly, she will be there to listen if I wake up in the middle of the night. I’ve so enjoyed getting to know this truly remarkable and creative woman who was there on my periphery all along. The treasure of her friendship is beyond all measure, and it brings tears to my eyes to realize it may never have happened if I hadn’t shot that random arrow into the sky, not knowing who would need it when it landed.

“Take center place, speak boldly and loudly.” These are not things that come naturally to me, especially when it comes to situations where I know what is true, right, and just, but which others might find offensive or worthy of outrage. But some things are so important that even the quiet and the small, the helpers, and those who prefer to stay invisible have to find some scrap of courage inside themselves to stand up, speak out, and be the main character of the fairy tale, if only for one moment, and then one moment more. We can’t help what roles in this fairy tale we might naturally lean toward, but when the forest is dark, we can all hold up a light, and say “I see you.”

I’m so very, very thankful Heather was there, and wanted to be seen.