My Daily Fae-shion, Or How I Learned to Speak Magic Through Clothing

A few favorite ensembles, featuring (top left, clockwise: a crocheted flower crown from Jessica Freytag, an Amanita Muscaria beret I made, my very favorite thrifted “mushroom hunting” boots and a woven thistle flower crown, my purple Lalabug hat, my favorite photo ever taken of me in a signature ensemble of silk skirt and flowy top with a belt, ballet flats, and flower crown, and a black ensemble with my grey and black Lalabug hat.

When I was 20 years old, I started dressing like a fairy tale. This was the year 2000, and it was the very baby days of the internet, so I didn’t yet have the community support to figure out exactly what that meant. I did what I could with what resources I had. I started exploring my personal spirituality, my belief in wonder and magic, and my wardrobe soon followed suit. As I got older, however, my courage and energy to devote to my outfit choices started to wane. My magical job at a new-age bookstore turned into a bank teller position, and then a job at the local library. I wanted to be taken seriously, and I also honestly just lost touch with that side of me.

In 2014, at 34, I attended the national Public Library Association (PLA) conference in Indianapolis. It was the largest confluence of librarians I had ever experienced, and I started to notice trends. Although cardigans and glasses chains weren’t as prevalent as the stereotype would imply, there did seem to be a recurring wardrobe among the attendees, male and female. Although I have to emphasize that there’s nothing wrong with the way librarians dress, I had an epiphany when I realized that my own clothes I had packed, and now wore every day, blended completely in with the other attendees of the convention. Where, I wondered, did the 20-year-old me go? The one who wore clothes to make people in conservative central Ohio scratch their heads with confusion? What would she think of 34-year-old her?

My first efforts just added a few quirky accessories to my pre-existing outfits that just didn’t really feel very “me.”

About a year later, I started thinking again about the way I felt at that convention when I realized how much I had lost my creative energy when it came to what I wore and how I looked. It’s important to emphasize here that it wasn’t just a matter of my looking the same as anyone else. More importantly, it was the fact that I didn’t feel like myself anymore. I just felt that what I wore expressed and was chosen on the basis of bland practicality and not anything about my quirks or personality.

I posted on my Facebook page saying that I was thinking about starting a new Facebook group devoted to fairy tale and magical fashion. (I had already, years earlier, created a blog and group themed to fairy tale and magical décor and lifestyle, Domythic Bliss, and this would be its sister group) The group’s emphasis would be not on festival wear or formal wear to go dancing with faeries, but on the actual clothes we wake up in the morning and put on to go to work, to walk in the woods, to wear on a date. There had to be a way to add touches of splendid wonder to even the most practical of mundane ensembles.

My dear friends Sara and Brittany, co-admins of the Daily Fae-shion group. Brittany was there with me from the beginning, and Sara joined as admin shortly thereafter. Now we also have our friend Lindsey as a fellow admin as well. Tip: I am wearing a Greenman pendant here that I think is technically an ornament. Add a ribbon to a magical-looking Christmas ornament, and sometimes it makes a very bold and awesome accessory! I wear Toby Froud goblins from the Fernie Brae all the time as pendants that were made to be Christmas ornaments.

I also figured this group would be a good support team to keep me honest about what choices I made. If I had to keep this group active, I would have to share my daily wardrobe choices too, and that meant I couldn’t just wake up in the mornings and put on sweatpants and a hoodie. (Let’s be real…I still put on sweatpants and a hoodie sometimes, and they have their marvelous place in this world.)

I had a friend crochet me a flower crown to wear with my outfits. I started searching thrift stores for long skirts and belts and romantic blouses. I pulled out my jewelry cases full of fabulous necklaces, earrings, and pins that expressed beloved aspects of my personal magic, and started to wear them, not just keep them tucked away in the closet. And I documented what I wore.  

Slowly, over time, I started increasingly expressing myself through my clothing choices. I realized more and more that the clothes I had worn at the library when I was suppressing my self-expression felt more like a costume than anything else. Even though when I wore my long skirts and flower crowns I would get more questions and odd looks, they felt truer to who I was as a person.

A favorite outfit. I really really love layering white and ivory/cream garments. And the pin (purchased from my friend Robin) delighted me since I wore this outfit to work at the library after my friends at Ironwood Wolves stopped by in the morning to let me spend time with Ena the fox.

On my Instagram account, I will often share self-portraits I’ve taken in romanticized outfits at my local forests. Pre-Covid, it was often the case that those photos were taken on my morning walks before I headed to my job at the library for an evening shift. Those outfits were my daily wear. I would arrive at the office with briars stuck to my long silk skirts. As I would reshelf books in the library stacks, bits of moss and leaves would fall from my hair. I had grass stains on my boots. And it made me feel even more like my true faerie self.

Right around the time that I started the Daily Fae-shion group, flower crowns trended in popular culture, and were easy to find at stores ranging from Claire’s to Walmart. I started wearing them to work, since technically they weren’t against the dress code. And I got hooked. Flower crowns were like visual shorthand to people. At the library, I would have children telling their parents I was a princess. Old men would tease me that I was a fairy. People instantly “got it” (most of the time…I did have a few people ask if I was a hippie, and one even ask me if I was supposed to be Jesus. …?) even though many of them would still ask questions like “what is the occasion?” or “are you doing story time today, is that why you’re dressed like that?” My standard answer was “no, this is just who I am as a person,” and their reactions would then vary from confusion to a sort of amused respect.

Tip: Engage your imagination by dressing to a theme. No one else ever has to know what you’re doing, but you’ll feel more magical all day. This outfit was inspired by Vasilisa from Russian folklore. I wore my hair in a braid, a pair of Russian-made carved wood earrings I bought at a renn faire years ago, a bracelet with white owls that vaguely reminded me of Baba Yaga’s skull fence, and a scarf with an intricate pattern on it. I loved this outfit, mostly because of the story it told just to me. (For these pictures, my troll doll by Wendy Froud stood in for Vasilisa’s doll from the fairy tale)

Although I have a Pinterest board that’s filled with gorgeous ruffled and fantastical ensembles from companies like Magnolia Pearl that are far, far outside my budget, and there are many more things I would do with my wardrobe if I suddenly won the lottery, (I suppose you have to play to win, don’t you?) I have also learned some tips and tricks over the years that have helped me make Goodwill finds look more like fairy wear. (And yes, by the way, I do have some default poses when I take photos of my daily wear. Hey, if you find a flattering angle, you work it.) 

I felt very Art Nouveau in this ensemble because of the oversized rose in my hair. The dress is a favorite of mine, a lucky find by my lucky thrifting friend Lisa Gill. The necklace is a Parrish Relic, an example of an investment piece that is very very worth it.

·         Ask yourself who your fashion icons would be. This doesn’t just have to be specific people, living or dead. It can be as random as “Swamp Thing” or “the Art Nouveau era and its models.” And then look for the common repeating motifs. Art Nouveau? Buy two floral hair clips and a headband from any store, put a flower above each ear, and you instantly evoke the era. Swamp Thing? Look for, or consign a friend to make, a shawl made from nubby chenille with mottled green coloration. Every style has identifying features that can be read as shorthand, even if the rest of your outfit “falls short” of the ideal you would dream of affording. If there’s one thing I’ve discovered from dressing “strangely” at my job, it is that people instantly want to “figure out” what you’re trying to do, and it bothers them until they do. I can almost hear the cogs turn sometimes as people look over my outfit and then announce to me their guess for what I was going for. Make it easy on them, and you’ll be rewarded with some lovely and amusing comments. (And yes, some not so lovely too. The first thing to put on each morning if you’re going to dress like a non-muggle is a thick skin.)

A good summertime example of layering a shorter dress over a longer skirt.

·         Layer, layer, layer!! One of my signature moves is to buy a beautiful and ethereal knee length dress, or hip-length tunic, and then layer *at least* one very long skirt under that. Floor length circle skirts are pretty easy to find on both the primary and secondary market. I am lucky enough to have a base stock of about a dozen ankle-grazing silk circle skirts in different colors given to me by a friend who was getting out of the renn faire circuit. (Thank you PattyLynn!) These layers instantly look much more fey and fairy tale.

Tip: If you can’t find a shirt or dress with a pattern you want, make it. This is a cotton t-shirt from Goodwill. I used a bleach gel pen (the sort for stains) and a paintbrush to bleach this artwork onto the top. I’ve also used this method on the hem of a dress to add mushrooms all around it. Go to Goodwill and check the fabric content of the article of clothing. As long as it’s mostly cotton, the bleach should take. Be careful, use a piece of cardboard so your bleach doesn’t bleed to the other side, and immediately rinse and then wash your piece of clothing once the design seems to have faded to the point you want.

·         If you belt it, size doesn’t matter nearly as much. I’ve grown quite a collection of elasticized stretchy belts that have fit me over a 30-40 pound size fluctuation over the years. If you find a flowy gorgeous tunic, but like me, have an ample bosom and look big all over if you wear a big top, then belt it! I almost never go without a belt of some sort in my ensembles, and it opens up the possibility while thrifting of buying items in a wider variety of sizes.

·         Belt a scarf! I learned this trick from my gorgeous and magical friend Laura Athena, who also loves flower crowns like I do, incidentally. Wear a scarf around your neck and hanging straight down. And then wrap a belt around that scarf. Combine that with a flowy skirt and bell-sleeved top and you are literally instantly a fairy princess.

My autumn-colored Lalabug hat. My first purchase, and I was immediately hooked.

My gray to black ombre Lalabug hat with mushrooms and foxgloves. The band is removable and can be worn as a flower crown. (and believe me, I have)

·         Invest in a few expensive pieces from small shop artists. The mutual benefit of this is extraordinary. You help keep them going financially, and they give you breathtaking works of art that make you instantly feel like a million fairy bucks. (wait, maybe I should use another analogy since fairy coin turns to dirt and leaves after a while…) I immediately think of my adored investment items, my two Lalabug Designs chapeaus. Lalabug is known as a world-class felt artist, and unfortunately her designs are plagiarized left and right. Please consider jumping on her waiting list when it opens about once a year, and supporting the original. My two “wren” style hats are a backbone of my wardrobe, and I plan to eventually purchase one of her hood-style hats as well. Another example would be Pendragon Shoes, from whom I hope to buy a pair of flat-heeled leaf boots at some point in the next year or two. Their work is sadly also often copy-catted, but there is only one original, and the difference in quality is patently obvious.

My absolute favorite blanket scarf, purchased at the Target dollar spot, a layered dress over a longer skirt, and a quirky acorn-ish hat bought from eBay. And of course fingerless gloves and a belt and boots.

·         A few other backbones of my wardrobe include fingerless gloves (I instantly feel like I belong in another era when I wear them), pixie hems (if I see a variegated hem on anything in a wearable size at the thrift store I will buy it), and blanket scarves (add a scarf pin and it become a cape, drape it and you feel like Claire from Outlander).

A favorite fox dress from eShakti, bought as a surprise to me from friends. Fox and hare necklace from Etsy seller, fox beret from eBay.

Honestly, I could just keep going, but this is already a little long. It’s incredible how much I’ve grown and changed since I started the Daily Fae-shion group on Facebook, and how great an impact wearing clothing that reflects my magical inner self has played in my life. Let me leave you with one thing: yes, many of us right now are spending most of our time at home, whether because we are furloughed (as I was for a while) or still working but going nowhere in our free time (my situation now). I know that the easiest thing to wear right now is sweatpants and pajamas. And you know what? On any given day, if you need to do that because you don’t have enough spoons, then absolutely go right ahead and don’t feel an ounce of guilt. But if you have items in your wardrobe that make you feel good, and make you feel magical to wear, I promise you, you will feel better once you put them on. Maybe not all the way better, because the world is a dumpster fire right now, but you will feel a lift. And you know what? The great thing about spending so much time at home is that our homes have no dress codes. Wear that full-on renaissance festival costume. Crank your air conditioning and wear the velvet cloak. (Okay, maybe not good for the environment to crank your ac, but you get my point.) Maybe even challenge your friends to dress to a theme (Princess Bride themed ensembles? Outfits inspired by murder ballads?) and hop on Zoom for a virtual party.

An outfit inspired by the Last Unicorn

Dress the way your secret magical self feels inside. Because this life is far, far too short to stifle your soul with the clothes that people who don’t know a thing about you think you should be wearing.

Oh, and join Daily Fae-shion! We would love to encourage and uplift you in your journey.

Super cozy coat by Folk of the Wood. Ear cuffs by Elven Rose Design. Hair barrette by Marlaine Browning.