Yes, I Absolutely Literally Believe in Faeries
/Recently the topic of gnome folklore came up at my librarian day job, as can happen around the holidays, especially these last few years with bearded, button-nosed, red pointy hatted fellows proliferating everywhere you can find décor. I was telling my coworkers about a little bit of the lore of gnomes, and one of them responded “and of course this is all just made up fantasy,” to which I immediately interjected, “Don’t say that! I believe in gnomes.” She made a scoffing sound, and asked “really?” to which I responded. “Yes, really. I believe in faeries, and gnomes are a type of fae.” The phone rang, and the conversation moved on, but my fire was lit, and my heart exposed.
When she responded to our conversation with a critical tone, my response had been immediate. And I can tell you that the feelings I felt were similar to what I may have felt if someone had insulted a close friend. I sprang to their defense. And I also jumped to protect myself and my work place. Because, dear friends and fae, if our library happens to have a tomte or a nisse, or a brownie or even a goblin, we definitely wouldn’t want to anger them by saying out loud that we don’t believe in them.
And also, I responded instinctively because it’s absolutely one hundred percent true. I do believe in faeries. I do believe in gnomes. Not just in a theoretical and whimsical sort of “wouldn’t it be lovely if” sense, or as a surface part of my aesthetic I project to the world, but in a very literal way as well. I'm sure you could have guessed by now if you're a long-time reader of this blog, but I still wanted to make that fact abundantly clear.
If I wanted to be extremely concise in explaining why I believe in faeries, I can't think of a better way to express it than the King of the Faeries himself, Brian Froud. I recommend hearing his words directly, at 2:50 in this video.
But for those who prefer to read, (and just in case the video ever disappears) he says the following.
"Oh yes, absolutely they exist. I remember I was doing a talk years ago in Boulder, no Denver, I'd been to Boulder, come to Denver and I told this story about some faeries I'd seen on the way, but one of the questions I asked was that. To the audience, I say about believing in faeries. And all I say is, that just for one....if you don't believe in faeries it doesn't matter but....just for one moment right now, just pretend that you believe. And when you do that, everybody just...feels better. That's all you need. If you feel better."
Believing in faeries feels good. And it feels right. When I think about the theoretical possibility of not believing in the fey, my heart clenches up like it did when my coworker uttered those terrible words. They are the embodiment of all things magical, of all things wild and unknown, of wonder and enchantment. I like who I am when I believe. I love the hidden things I can find in nature walks when I'm open to seeing whatever the fey want me to see. As a side note, I've learned many many times over the years, again and again, that it's best not to ask the fey to find specifics in nature...a hagstone, or to see one of them overtly, or a portal or a door. It's best to go into the forest, to the ocean, to the wilds, with an open heart, and say "please show me what you want me to see today." To do otherwise, I find, is like pulling out your Heart of Faerie oracle cards and saying "I want to find the Queen of Laughter card please." What's the point of asking the cards for guidance if you're going to try to guide them yourself? But I digress...
Beyond just liking who I am when I believe, I have also had proof of their existence. I may not ever have had a flitting being of light appear in my vision and tell me stories or give me gifts, but I've had far too many uncanny experiences in the woods to be able to attribute all of them to simply my imagination. I've come across places that seem entirely ordinary, but immediately radiate with a sort of energy that cannot be denied. I've walked a faerie path my friend found in the Oregon woods near her house, I've felt the energy of a magical tree, and, walking up to it from a different angle on another trip, discovered that she is actually a clootie tree, and countless other people felt her energy too and tied their wishes to her branches. I've made friends in the woods who I miss tangibly when they disappear from physical existence...friends like Sir Stick, of whom I've written, and many others.
I both do and don’t agree with the idea that we can create our reality by belief, and therefore create the fey by thinking they exist. I think our folklore informs who we are, and that the nature, characteristics, and behavior of the fey can be influenced over time by the energy of the shifts in how we perceive them, but I also believe they exist independently of us as well. Again, using nature as a semi-metaphor, if humanity ceased existence, nature would still take over. But we shape and influence nature as well and can have real serious influence on it, for good or ill. Faeries are nature. And it is much the same.
So yes, coworker of mine, I truly do believe in faeries. Because I cannot NOT believe in faeries. And if believing in faeries is a kind of madness, then let me never, ever be sane.