Christmas Kindnesses

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks dressed in holiday style
In the air, there's a feeling of Christmas
Children laughing, people passing, meeting smile after smile
And on every street corner you'll hear

Silver bells silver bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them ring
Soon it will be Christmas day

Ah, the words to the classic song. We all have Hallmark Christmas movie images in our heads of an old-time holiday, bundled up shoppers in the snow smiling at each other and calling out greetings.

This year, for the second year in a row, we can’t even see each other’s faces. And a friend and I were talking the other day about how going out to most social spaces makes us despair for the spirit of Christmas rather than feel any sense of hope or camaraderie. People all just seem so eager to greet each other with anger. Instead of selfless gestures of generosity, I see more selfish acts of self-priority.

It's at times like this, when I come back home from a trip to the grocery store feeling drained, that I want to hug my Christmas tree and inhale as much cinnamon and peppermint as I possibly can. Thank goodness, I tell myself, that I have this sanctuary where Christmas is still beloved and sacred.

But that's not what Christmas is about. One of my favorite quotes of all time is from A Christmas Carol, when Scrooge exclaims "I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." Was Dickens implying that Scrooge would decorate his home from roof to basement and retreat there to watch Hallmark movies in his pajamas and drink eggnog? (Mmmm....that does sound good...) No. He was referring to the true spirit of Christmas, a time for generosity, for giving, for caring for one's fellow man. And just as Scrooge's nephew still tried to reach out to his uncle despite his being the very epitome of holiday grumpiness, we shouldn't and cannot just save the Christmas spirit for those who also understand and feel it.

First of all, there are countless reasons why a person might not be feeling the warm glow of Yuletide this year. For goodness sake, take a look at the almost two-years of pandemic we've had. It's so much for anyone to bear. And it seems that there has been a glut of terrible news among those I care about as well. People are dealing with a lot. In that moment when they scowl at your candy cane headband, or cut in front of you in line, you have no idea what context has led to that moment. I mean, sure, maybe they're just a selfish jerk. But maybe not.

Then think of all of the people who work jobs that are on the front line of these holiday short tempers. Think of your grocery store workers. Your fast food employees. Your post office workers, your UPS employees, your Amazon drivers. (And many more I am forgetting I'm sure.) Not only do they have to deal with these Scrooges, but the vampiric drain can eventually lead them to behave in gruff and abrupt ways as well, no matter how kind and friendly they might normally wish to be.

We are all dealing with so much right now. The true expression of Christmas is not to retreat away to a world where everyone wears red and green, sings Christmas carols, and understands the importance of leaving out milk and cookies for Santa on Christmas night no matter if there are kids in the household or not. (Once again, ahh the bliss) The true expression of Christmas is about charity. It's about giving some of what you have to those who might not have. And of course this expresses itself through donations to and aiding of charitable organizations, but I maintain that we can also express it on a daily basis, one person, one gesture at a time.

-No matter how many scowls you receive, wear that cheerful ugly Christmas sweater to the grocery store, and smile with your eyes over your mask at everyone.

-Put antlers and a Rudolph nose on your car, a Buddy the Elf blow-up in the back seat of your car. When you go through a fast food drive up window, drive forward enough to make sure the employees see it (I've delighted to see the employees laugh over this and even take pictures).

-Instead of paying it forward to the next person in line, give a generous tip to the person who is serving you, and is grossly underpaid. For that matter, contact your appropriate government official about why we still haven't increased the minimum wage to a living wage.

-When you're in your car, you can interact with other people with no mask on. So smile. Smile the heck out of your face, even if you don't feel like it. It'll help change your mood, and when you catch the eye of other drivers, the smile will be infectious.

-When someone cuts you off on the road, or blasts past you "rolling coal" in their giant truck, try to pause for a moment and send them peace and kindness. (I really need to be better about doing this).

-At the stores, look for any opportunity to be helpful. Is someone struggling with an item on a top shelf? Help them.

-Churches aren't the only places that can carol! See if you can gather together a group of friends to sing holiday songs in your neighborhood, and/or at a local nursing home. Leave a small gift for those you visit at the nursing home: a pair of aloe-infused socks, a container of hand lotion, a bag of sugar-free candy.

-Please please pay attention to who is around you. Don't block the walkways at a store, and if someone is coming in the door behind you, hold it open for them with a friendly greeting.

-Compliment a stranger. Make it a fun goal between yourself and your family to each compliment at least three people when you're out in public.

-Don't forget your animal friends either at Christmastime! Go and visit your local humane society and spend some time giving the cats or dogs some love. Before you leave, give a donation of much-needed funds, or supplies, or both to the organization.

-The wild animals deserve your care and attention too. Research local organizations for wildlife and support their efforts.

-Random acts of kindness are lovely, but when considering where to spread your charitable funds, focus on those who most need them.

-If you are in the category of those who just aren't feeling up to it this year, or find yourself short on both time and temper, try to be kind to yourself as well. The pressure of the season can be overwhelming. You are doing great.

-Finally, remember what Scrooge said. Try to keep this spirit of Christmas alive throughout the year. When you are considering your New Year's resolutions, consider adding two or three resolutions for charitable giving or work in your new year. Maybe you will resolve to help with a river clean up project in spring? Or volunteer at a food pantry in the summer?

Christmas is a state of mind. And whether you're a Santa or a Scrooge this year, I wish you so much kind and gentle love for yourself and others this holiday season.